Day Thirty One

Today is one of those days that I just feel really lucky to have the boyfriend I do. It's been a crazy, somewhat emotional weekend and I needed nothing more than to talk to him tonight. Thank God for Facetime. It makes things so much easier than they were at boot camp, where we could only send letters and occasionally talk to each other on the phone.

A lot of his friends are getting their orders (where they're going to be stationed after their done with their training) but he hasn't received his yet. Every day that does by without knowing where he's going gets me more and more anxious. It's hard not to assume the worst, that he's going to Afghanistan or North Africa or somewhere else dangerous. I worry too much sometimes. My fingers are crossed for Japan (perfect excuse to go back!) but it's unlikely.

I don't think most people realize how difficult long distance relationships are, even when you do get to Facetime them. Yeah, "at least I get to talk to him," but just imagine for a second not being able to hold your boyfriend/girlfriend's hand or cuddle up and watch a movie together or kiss them goodbye. There's a huge difference between seeing their face on a screen and actually getting to physically be with them.

On top of that, in my case at least, there's the uncertainty of not knowing when you're going to get a chance to see them again. It could be weeks, it could be months. I know being apart is taking a toll on him too, and it sucks that there is nothing either of us can do about it. For now it's just talking to each other about what we're up to, and how our friends are, school, anything normal. A lot of the time though, it feels like this:

It takes a special kind of dedication to maintain a long distance relationship, and as much as I hate being apart from Sam, it's given me so much faith and confidence in our relationship. Many couples say, "I love you enough to wait for you when we're apart," but we're actually proving it to each other. I don't have any trust issues when it comes to him, and I know he feels the same when it comes to me. We both have way more than enough to worry about it, so it's nice that we don't have to worry about each other's loyalty or faithfulness.  

"Distance is not for the fearful, it is for the bold. 

It's for those who are willing to spend a lot of time alone 

in exchange for a little time with the one they love. 

It's for those knowing a good thing when they see it, 

even if they don't see it nearly enough."