Today, I want to address something that I get questioned about quite a bit - my relationship. For those of you who don't know, I'm currently in a long distance relationship with my best friend of around four years. His name is Sam and he's enlisted in the Army and will be for the next 3 years and a half years or so. We started dating on September 29th, about a month before he left for basic training.
To everyone who thinks it's awesome that we're together even though he's in the Army - thank you. I'd be lying if I said it was always easy. Are there times that I wish I could just have a normal relationship? Absolutely. But the thing is, I wouldn't trade my relationship for anything else - I'm sticking by my choice. I've had people come up to me and say things like "I respect you a lot for respecting your boyfriend while he's in the Army," and I don't think they know how much it means to me. There are times, though, when I get other kinds of remarks, and I just want to respond to some of those.
"You're in college... why are you in a relationship like that?"
Simple answer: I love him. So what if I'm in college? If you find someone who you love spending time with, who knows you inside and out (and adores you anyway), who makes you feel comfortable and taken care of, why would you let that pass you by? When people go out and mingle and date, that's what they look for, someone to feel those things with. It just so happens that I've already found that person. He's not going to be far away forever, and I don't mind waiting until we can be together and have a normal relationship.
"But aren't you missing out?"
It's true that I can't go out to parties and flirt with guys and make out with whoever I want to, but I don't feel like I'm missing out on anything. I'm not a big partier to begin with. I've never been a drinker, I don't smoke, I wouldn't be one to take random guys back to my dorm room. I'd rather spend my Saturday night in my dorm room Facetiming my boyfriend than out at a party. I don't feel like I've had to sacrifice a lot. So no, I'm not missing out.
I know it's difficult for a lot of people to understand. How could being in a relationship with a guy you barely get to talk to and only get to see once every few months be better than being single and able to do whatever you want? A year ago, I would've been asking the same thing. It's not really something you can understand until you're faced with that decision and you can confidently say, "I'm going to commit to this person," and be content with it.
The next three and a half years are going to be tough, no doubt about that. This is not where I pictured myself relationship-wise when I came to U of O at the beginning of the fall, but I wouldn't change a thing. I discovered that my amazing best friend also makes the perfect boyfriend for me and I look forward to the day he gets out of the Army and we can be together physically and not just emotionally. Until then though, I'll wait.
I really like this post. Relationships are never black and white. People who are not involved always feel the need to stick their voice in where nobody wants it. You know I chose an "abnormal" relationship too, getting married young. I think when you find something THAT special, you just have to grab on and hold on.
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