So for today, I want to elaborate a bit more on yesterday's arranged marriage theme by talking a bit about my own beliefs on it. As with anything I write, you don't have to agree with me.
I'm not opposed to arranged marriages, as long as the potential wife and husband have the option of saying no.
Family is extremely important to me and marrying someone my family didn't approve of, or not feeling accepted by my husband's family, would bother me. To me, when I'm dating someone, I'm dating their family in the sense that I'm trying to see if I'd be a good fit in their family and, if so, trying to get them to like me. I'm lucky that everyone I've met in Sam's family seems to like me and that makes me a lot more confident about being together with him, knowing we have family support. I feel like having an arranged marriage would take the stress out of creating family ties.
I don't think this is true in all cases, but for me, my mom is always right. I think she predicted Sam and I dating two years before it actually happened. She's got a really good instinct and based on my somewhat questionable dating judgement (before Sam of course), she'd be a better person to pick the right guy for me than I would. Now, I know that a lot of mother's aren't connected with their kids, but in the societies and situations where arranged marriages typically occur, they are, at least more so than in our society. I think this has to do again with the importance of family.
Even if it's not a marriage situation, I don't think being set up by your parents is necessarily a bad thing. Although there can be instances of parents trying to set their son or daughter up for their own gain, parents generally care about the happiness of their child. Worst case is, the person they set you up with is totally not your type and you never date them again. Best case is, they got it spot on and you could fall in love with someone you otherwise may not have given a chance.
If I wasn't dating Sam and my mom tried to set me up with a guy, I'd trust her judgement. When it comes to my dad, I'd probably still go on the date, but I know my dad would try to set me up with someone that's not quite my type, even though the set up was with the best intentions. I don't think he would have initially picked Sam for me - scratch that, I KNOW he wouldn't have initially picked Sam for me, but he likes him and that's all that really matters.
There are of course some bad things that can happen in arranged marriages, but I think that most of those negatives would be aspects of forced marriage, not actually of arranged marriage as it exists today. As long as the choice of marriage was ultimately left up to the couple, I don't think there's anything wrong with some input from mom and dad.
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