Day 180

I'm sorry the last two posts have been kind of short, especially considering Sam's home and that's kind of a huge deal, but I don't really know what to write. I feel like I should right about all the things I'm feeling (that's kind of the point of blogging, right?) but to be honest, my feelings are so conflicted right now that I don't even have them together in my head, let alone figured out enough to write about. I don't mean conflicted about whether this whole dating thing is going to work out - I know it is - but he's deploying and there's other stuff and it's complicated.

For example, I'm glad he's home, but knowing he's going to be gone for the next 9 to 12 months is going to make saying goodbye really hard, much harder than last time when we had no idea. It's something that's been in the back of my mind all day today. The happier he makes me while he's here, the more that's going to be taken away once he leaves. It's sad but true. :/ but it's part of being in a relationship with a soldier (or airman or Marine or seaman for whatever) and I knew that from the start so I just gotta tough it out. I don't regret it and I know I'm not going to even while he's deployed.

All I can do is enjoy the time I have with him until he's out and we don't have to worry about being apart for so long anymore. It's a few years away still but hopefully it'll go by pretty fast.